When Draco Malfoy Attacks
by TurtleHare
Summary: Me and my friend are making this story together but anyway I really suck at summarys but here it goes.....There has been attaks at Hogwarts they must find out who is behind it all.
1. The first victim

{ A/N: We own nothing but the plot.}  
  
All of Hogwarts were gathered in The Great Hall for the start of term feast. Ron was munching down on a chicken bone when he looked up at Harry.  
  
"What?" asked Harry.  
  
"Why does Malfoy keep looking over here?" Ron asked.  
  
"He always does....whats the big surprise?" asked Harry.  
  
"No...he's never looked over here like that before." said Ron. "He's up to something."  
  
"Ouch....." Harry and Ron looked over and saw Neville Longbottom holding his stomach.  
  
"Neville? Are you okay?" asked Harry.  
  
"Yeh...yes, I'm fine...I've ju...just got to...dookie!" stuttered Neville. Then, he got up and ran away out of the Great Hall.  
  
"Gosh, I wonder whats wrong with him?" asked Hermione.  
  
"Why won't you go in there and see, Hermione." said Ron.  
  
"Ron! You may have found out about my secret affair with Neville but you will never find out anything else!" Hermione said, turning her back on Ron.  
  
{In The Bathroom}  
  
"AAAAHHHH!!!!!" Screamed Neville in pain. "IT HURTS!!!!!!"  
  
Everything went black......and there lay the now dead...Neville.  
  
[The Next Day}  
  
"GOSH!" yelled Seamus. "WHO TOOK A DUMP?!?!"  
  
"I don't know!" said Ron holding his nose. "And not so loud, Seamus."  
  
"It's coming from this stall." said Oliver Wood.  
  
"Whats that coming out of it?" asked Ron.  
  
There was something red coming out form under the door of the stall.  
  
"Mmmm.....tastes like blood!" said Oliver, happily.  
  
"Why did you just taste...wait...BLOOD?!?!" yelled Seamus.  
  
"Yup!" said Oliver.  
  
The four boys pushed the door open only to find a dead Neville Longbottom with a huge peice of dookie coming out of his butt. His butt high in the air so that it was the first thing you saw when you opened the door.  
  
A/N: Okay I know we are gonna get flames for this but oh well! We don't give a flying fart! Just PLEASE review!  
  



	2. Too many Eggs

Disclaimer: Don't own it, never will...Sigh

A/N: We would like to thank our one and _only _reviewer, Turtlerabbit. Thank you!

"OH GROSS!" Harry and Hermione said in unison at being told of Neville's death.   
  
Oliver laughed at their expressions of disgust.  
  
"You mean, there was like, a piece of it, just...there?" Harry made a face.   
  
"Yea, it was way gross." Seamus said. "I've got pictures if you want."   
  
"Oh, ewwwww, Stop it!" Hermione covered her mouth.   
  
"I'll take some!" Lee Jordan said, taking out two Galleons.   
  
"Oh, that's sick!" Fred took some to look at, a smile on his face.   
  
"Too funny!" George said, taking a few to look at as well.   
  
"How much do you want for these?" Fred asked, taking out a pouch of money.   
  
"These will sell really well in our joke shop. We could turn them into postcards!" George said.   
  
"Or like, getwell cards! 'Having a crappy day? Why not-"  
  
"Are you people forgeting that Neville is DEAD? Come on, we have to figure this out." Ron said.   
  
"Ron's right, who would do something like this?" Hermione asked.   
  
"I know who it is! It's-" Ron began.   
  
"Malfoy? Yea, right. He talks big, but him, a killer? He's a bigger coward than you, Ron." Hermione said.   
  
"Really?" He smiled, then, "Hey wait a minute, I'm not a coward!"   
  
"Spiders!" Fred and Geoge said in unison.   
  
"AHHH! Where?!" Ron tried to climb on top of Hermione.   
  
"Get off, Ron!" She threw him on one of the four posters near her.  
  
"So, who else could it be?" Harry asked.   
  
"Well, Oliver did seem a little too happy when we found Neville..." Seamus said.   
  
".....Where is Oliver? He was here a moment ago..." Lee Jordan said.   
  
"Oh, he had to go use the bathroom. Had too many eggs this morning." George said. A moment later they heard a constipated scream coming from the bathrooms.  
  
"Hermione, why don't you go and check on him?" Ron said.   
  
"How did you find out that I was secretly cheating on Neville with Oliver? Okay, you won't find out about anything else!" Hermione started on ward to the bathrooms. The boys followed.   
  
"Whoa, he really did have too many eggs!" Harry said, holding his nose.   
  
Hermione cast an anti-stink spell and they began to look around.   
  
Fred opened one of the stalls. "You in here Oliver?" George plunged his head into the toilet.   
  
"I don't think he's in there, George." Fred said.   
  
"Where could he be?" Seamus asked.   
  
"Oh, I don't know, maybe the stall where blood is oozing out from underneath the door?" Lee Jordan said.   
  
Harry kicked open the door.   
  
" Oh my..." Hermione ran over to the next stall and began puking.  
  
"Well, it looks like he just had bloody diaharrea, to me." Seamus said.  
  
"Well, then he wouldn't be dead on the floor now would he? And it wouldn't be everywhere, either..." Ron said.   
  
"Honestly, I don't think that's your natural hair color, Seamus." Harry said. (No offence to blondes!)   
  
Hermione emerged from the stall, pale faced and leaning on the stall for support. "Well, that rules out Oliver..." She said, wiping her mouth.   
  
Second chapter done!!!!! Please read and review! Man, this is sooo messed up, but I'm having too much fun! 


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